A Catholic mother gets the call she has been praying about and dreading. Her son is engaged to his boyfriend. He still loves his faith, and he loves her. "Mom, the Pope said priests can bless couples like us now. Can we get married in the Church?"
Many people are asking the same question. Some have heard that the Catholic Church changed her teaching in 2023. Others assume she simply dislikes gay people. Neither is true.
Here is the precise answer, in the Catholic Church's own words, and the welcome Christ offers to every person.
Short answer: No. The Catholic Church does not and cannot marry two people of the same sex, and she does not recognize same-sex unions as marriage or as anything like marriage. Marriage is the covenant "by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life" (CCC 1601). God designed it; the Church received it and has no power to change it. The 2023 declaration Fiducia Supplicans "remains firm on the traditional doctrine of the Church about marriage" (Presentation). It forbids any rite resembling a wedding and allows only a brief, spontaneous, non-liturgical blessing of people who ask for God's help, even when they come as a same-sex couple, without blessing or approving their union. And every person with same-sex attraction must be "accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity" (CCC 2358).
Key verses on marriage and same-sex unions
- "God created mankind in his image; in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)
- "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body." (Genesis 2:24)
- "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate." (Matthew 19:6)
- "This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:32)
- "That is what some of you used to be; but now you have had yourselves washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)
Scripture quotations are from the New American Bible, Revised Edition (NABRE), © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
What Supporters of Same-Sex Marriage Believe
Many who want the Catholic Church to marry or bless same-sex couples are moved by love for real people. Their case, at its strongest:
1. "Marriage is about love and commitment." On this view, marriage is two people promising lifelong love and fidelity. Sex difference is incidental; infertile couples marry, so children cannot be essential.
2. "The Bible doesn't address committed same-sex relationships." Some Protestant scholars and pastors argue that the passages usually cited (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 6:9) condemned idolatry, exploitation or pederasty, not faithful partnerships. Jesus never mentioned the subject, they add, and St. Paul wrote, "there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). Some Protestant denominations now celebrate same-sex weddings on these grounds.
3. "The Church has changed before, and the Pope has opened the door." Fasting rules and the language of the Mass have changed. Some Catholics read Fiducia Supplicans as a first step toward recognizing same-sex unions; others, who hold the traditional teaching, worried it would blur the line between blessing persons and approving relationships.
Behind most of these arguments is a good desire: that gay and lesbian people not be rejected, shamed or left alone. The Catholic Church shares that desire. The real question is whether love requires redefining something God made.
What Catholics Actually Teach
Marriage is a man and a woman, by God's design. "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament" (CCC 1601; compare canon 1055 §1). "The essential properties of marriage are unity and indissolubility" (canon 1056). And "God himself is the author of marriage" (CCC 1603).
Same-sex unions are not marriage, or anything like it. In 2003 the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, with the approval of Pope St. John Paul II, taught: "There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God's plan for marriage and family." And: "Marriage is holy, while homosexual acts go against the natural moral law" (Considerations 4). The truth about marriage, it adds, is "evident to right reason and recognized as such by all the major cultures of the world" (2).
The Catholic Church cannot bless same-sex unions. In 2021 the Congregation was asked: "Does the Church have the power to give the blessing to unions of persons of the same sex?" The answer: "Negative" (Responsum), published with Pope Francis's assent. It is "not licit to impart a blessing on relationships, or partnerships, even stable, that involve sexual activity outside of marriage." The explanatory note distinguishes persons from unions: "God Himself never ceases to bless each of His pilgrim children in this world," but God "does not and cannot bless sin: he blesses sinful man, so that he may recognize that he is part of his plan of love and allow himself to be changed by him" (explanatory note).
What Fiducia Supplicans does and does not allow. On 18 December 2023 the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, with Pope Francis's approval, issued Fiducia Supplicans, "On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings." In its own words:
- The doctrine is unchanged. It "remains firm on the traditional doctrine of the Church about marriage, not allowing any type of liturgical rite or blessing similar to a liturgical rite that can create confusion" (Presentation). Marriage is "the exclusive, stable, and indissoluble union between a man and a woman, naturally open to the generation of children" (4). It reaffirms the 2021 Responsum, "which states that the Church does not have the power to impart blessings on unions of persons of the same sex" (5).
- No rite, and nothing like a wedding. Any "rites and prayers that could create confusion between what constitutes marriage" and "what contradicts it" are "inadmissible" (4). Such a blessing "should never be imparted in concurrence with the ceremonies of a civil union," nor performed "with any clothing, gestures, or words that are proper to a wedding" (39).
- What is permitted. A brief, spontaneous blessing, "the form of which should not be fixed ritually by ecclesial authorities to avoid producing confusion with the blessing proper to the Sacrament of Marriage" (31). It is for people who "do not claim a legitimation of their own status," but who beg that what is "true, good, and humanly valid in their lives and their relationships be enriched, healed, and elevated by the presence of the Holy Spirit" (31). Such a blessing "does not claim to sanction or legitimize anything" (34).
On 4 January 2024 the Dicastery issued a press release on the document's reception. It said "the document is clear and definitive about marriage and sexuality." It described "short and simple pastoral blessings (neither liturgical nor ritualised) of couples in irregular situations (but not of their unions)," which "neither approve nor justify the situation in which these people find themselves." And: "We are talking about something that lasts about 10 or 15 seconds."
The accurate picture: the doctrine did not change, and cannot. No priest may celebrate, imitate or bless a same-sex union in any form. A priest may briefly and spontaneously bless people who ask for God's help, even a same-sex couple, under the same rules that apply to other couples in irregular situations, and that blessing approves nothing.
Persons are always welcome. Homosexual acts "are contrary to the natural law," and "Under no circumstances can they be approved" (CCC 2357). Yet persons with homosexual tendencies "must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity," and "Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided" (CCC 2358). Dignitas Infinita (2024) denounced as "contrary to human dignity" the imprisonment, torture and killing of people, in some places, "solely because of their sexual orientation" (55). The full moral teaching is in Is Being Gay a Sin?
Civil law. The Catholic Church distinguishes respect for persons from approving a legal redefinition of marriage: "respect for homosexual persons cannot lead in any way to approval of homosexual behaviour or to legal recognition of homosexual unions" (Considerations 11). Law shapes a people: "Civil laws are structuring principles of man's life in society, for good or for ill" (6). And the reasons are not only religious: children placed in such unions "would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood," while "the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration" (7). So the document holds that "all Catholics are obliged to oppose the legal recognition of homosexual unions," and when such a law is first proposed, a Catholic lawmaker "has a moral duty to express his opposition clearly and publicly and to vote against it" (10). Homosexual persons, like all citizens, "can always make use of the provisions of law" to protect their rights (9).
What Catholics do not teach:
- That the inclination itself is a sin. It is not (CDF, 1986, 3), though the Catechism calls it "objectively disordered" and, for most, "a trial" (CCC 2358).
- That chastity is asked only of gay people. "All the baptized are called to chastity" (CCC 2348), and every unmarried person is asked to live it in continence (CCC 2349).
- That Fiducia Supplicans approved same-sex unions. It permits blessings "without officially validating their status or changing in any way the Church's perennial teaching on marriage" (Presentation).
It all points to Christ. Marriage is not a prize the Catholic Church hands out; it is an image of Jesus, the Bridegroom who gave His life for His Bride. The Church guards the sign because she guards Him. And the Jesus who defined marriage "from the beginning" stretches out His hands to every sinner and gives the grace to follow Him.
The Biblical Case
1. Jesus defined marriage by God's original design
Tested on marriage, Jesus did not appeal to custom. He went back to creation: "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?" (Matthew 19:4–5; see Mark 10:6–9). He joined Genesis 1:27 (who marries: male and female) to Genesis 2:24 (what marriage is: one flesh). When Moses' concession on divorce was raised, He answered: "from the beginning it was not so" (Matthew 19:8). If Jesus would not let even Moses revise the original design, no one else can (CCC 1614).
2. Male and female is the substance of marriage, not a detail
"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suited to him" (Genesis 2:18). God did not make a second Adam. He made the woman, and the man cried out: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" (Genesis 2:23). The "one body" of Genesis 2:24 is the bodily union of man and woman, the union from which new life comes. So God's first blessing on humanity was: "Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it" (Genesis 1:28). Man and woman are "equal as persons and complementary as male and female" (Considerations 3; see CCC 2335). Two men or two women may love each other deeply, but they cannot become one flesh in this sense. (Why infertile couples still truly marry is covered in What Does the Bible Say About Marriage?)
3. Marriage is a living image of Christ and the Church
St. Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 and then reveals its depth: "This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:31–32). "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her" (Ephesians 5:25). History ends at "the wedding day of the Lamb" (Revelation 19:7). The sign works because Bridegroom and Bride are two different realities made one. A same-sex union, however sincere, cannot signify that mystery, so the Catholic Church cannot make it a sacrament.
4. Scripture never blesses sexual union outside that design
"Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled" (Hebrews 13:4). St. Paul wrote that "the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another" (Romans 1:27), and he listed sexual sins, alongside greed and drunkenness, among the things that exclude from the Kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:9–10; see Leviticus 18:22). From Genesis to Revelation, the only sexual union Scripture calls good is that of husband and wife, and no text blesses a same-sex sexual relationship. The Church cannot marry or bless what God's word calls sin. (The detailed exegesis is in Is Being Gay a Sin?)
5. "That is what some of you used to be"
Right after that hard list, St. Paul turns to real people in Corinth: "That is what some of you used to be; but now you have had yourselves washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 6:11). "God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength" (1 Corinthians 10:13). The Catholic Church's "no" to same-sex marriage is not a "no" to anyone's soul. It is the call Jesus gave the woman about to be stoned: "Neither do I condemn you. Go, [and] from now on do not sin any more" (John 8:11).
6. The Catholic Church is the steward of marriage, not its owner
"Thus should one regard us: as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Now it is of course required of stewards that they be found trustworthy" (1 Corinthians 4:1–2). Christ gave His apostles real authority: "Whoever listens to you listens to me" (Luke 10:16; see Matthew 16:18–19). But authority to guard is not authority to rewrite. In the sacraments "there is an immutable part, a part that is divinely instituted and of which the Church is the guardian" (CCC 1205). Of the marriage bond, the Catechism says "the Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom" (CCC 1640). So the 2021 Responsum says the Church "does not have, and cannot have, the power to bless unions of persons of the same sex." Not even a pope can give what the Church does not possess.
Objections Answered
(a) "The Pope allowed blessings of same-sex couples, so the Church's teaching has changed."
At its strongest: In 2021 the Vatican said the Church cannot bless same-sex unions; in 2023 it allowed priests to bless same-sex couples. If what was refused is now allowed, marriage may be next.
Answer: Read the document, not the headlines. Fiducia Supplicans does not reverse the 2021 Responsum; it cites it with approval (5). The 2021 text already said its answer "does not preclude the blessings given to individual persons with homosexual inclinations, who manifest the will to live in fidelity to the revealed plans of God as proposed by Church teaching." The 2023 text goes further in one respect: it allows a brief blessing of two people who come together, and "those seeking a blessing should not be required to have prior moral perfection" (25). But it keeps the decisive line: no rite, no liturgy, nothing resembling a wedding, and a blessing "of couples in irregular situations (but not of their unions)," as the Dicastery's clarification put it. Catholics may discuss the pastoral wisdom of such blessings. No one can honestly claim the doctrine of marriage changed; the declaration itself says it did not.
(b) "Love is love. If two people love each other, the Church should marry them."
At its strongest: Two people share faithful, sacrificial love for decades. Why deny them the name and blessing of marriage?
Answer: The Catholic Church does not deny that such love can be real or contain genuine goods; Fiducia Supplicans speaks of what is "true, good, and humanly valid" in people's lives (31). But love alone does not make a marriage. A mother loves her son, and friends love each other, yet none of these loves is marriage, the one-flesh union of a man and a woman (CCC 1601). Real love also wants the truth: love "does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth" (1 Corinthians 13:6). "To love is to will the good of another" (CCC 1766), and no one is helped by being told something false about God's design. Jesus said: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15).
(c) "Jesus never mentioned same-sex marriage."
At its strongest: The Gospels record no word from Jesus about same-sex relationships. If it mattered so much, wouldn't He have said so?
Answer: It is true that no recorded saying of Jesus mentions same-sex unions. But He did something more decisive: asked about marriage, He defined it, "male and female" and "one flesh" (Matthew 19:4–5). A definition excludes what lies outside it. He also named "unchastity" among the evils that come "from their hearts" (Mark 7:21). And He did not leave us only His recorded words. He sent apostles with His authority (Luke 10:16) and promised, "when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth" (John 16:13). The apostolic teaching of Romans 1 and 1 Corinthians 6 is Christ's teaching too. Silence is not permission.
(d) "The Church changed on other things. It will change on this too."
At its strongest: Friday abstinence rules and the language of the Mass have changed. Doctrine develops. Why not the understanding of marriage?
Answer: The Catholic Church distinguishes discipline, which she made and can change, from doctrine, which she received and must hand on. Fasting rules and liturgical language are disciplines. Marriage between a man and a woman is something God made "from the beginning." The Magisterium "is not above the word of God, but serves it, teaching only what has been handed on" (Dei Verbum 10). Development deepens a truth; it never reverses it. St. Vincent of Lérins, in the fifth century, allowed growth in doctrine "Yet on condition that it be real progress, not alteration of the faith," growing "in the same doctrine, in the same sense, and in the same meaning" (Commonitory 23.54). Calling a same-sex union a marriage would be contradiction, not development. "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away" (Matthew 24:35). See What Is Sacred Tradition?
(e) "Some Christian denominations marry same-sex couples, so Christians can disagree."
At its strongest: Sincere, prayerful Christians have concluded that God blesses faithful same-sex unions. Isn't this an open question?
Answer: The question is not whether some Christians disagree today, but whether any church has authority to redefine what Christ defined. Scripture's witness is unbroken, and for most of Christian history Catholics, Orthodox and Protestants agreed. The Westminster Confession, a classic Reformed standard, states: "Marriage is to be between one man and one woman" (24.1). In 1998 the Lambeth Conference of Anglican bishops, "in view of the teaching of Scripture," upheld "faithfulness in marriage between a man and a woman in lifelong union," "while rejecting homosexual practice as incompatible with Scripture" (Resolution I.10). Galatians 3:28 teaches that men and women are equally saved in Christ; it does not erase the difference between them, or St. Paul could not have written Ephesians 5. Christ gave His Church as "the pillar and foundation of truth" (1 Timothy 3:15) so His people would not be left to shifting opinion. See Is the Church the Pillar and Foundation of Truth?
(f) "Opposing same-sex marriage is hateful."
At its strongest: Gay and lesbian people have suffered contempt and rejection, sometimes from Christians. Saying their deepest relationship can never be a marriage feels like rejecting them as persons.
Answer: The wrongs are real, and the Catholic Church condemns them: "Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided" (CCC 2358). But disagreeing about what marriage is does not mean hating anyone. The Church distinguishes the person from the institution; the Responsum says its answer "is not therefore, and is not intended to be, a form of unjust discrimination." She gives the same answer to cohabiting couples and to the divorced and remarried, and Fiducia Supplicans treats "couples in irregular situations" and "couples of the same sex" under the same rules (31). The unloving thing would be to tell people what they want to hear instead of the truth that sets them free. St. Paul's rule is ours: "living the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15).
The Early Church Agrees
- The Didache (Didache 2, late 1st or early 2nd century; exact date debated): "you shall not commit pederasty, you shall not commit fornication" (newadvent.org). The earliest Christian catechism forbids sex between men and boys, and all sex outside marriage, alongside murder and adultery.
- St. Ignatius of Antioch (Letter to Polycarp 5, early 2nd century): "But it becomes both men and women who marry, to form their union with the approval of the bishop, that their marriage may be according to God, and not after their own lust" (newadvent.org). A disciple of the apostles: marriage is of "men and women," under the Church's authority.
- St. Justin Martyr (First Apology 29, c. AD 155): "But whether we marry, it is only that we may bring up children; or whether we decline marriage, we live continently" (newadvent.org). The early Christians knew two paths: marriage open to children, or chaste continence.
- Tertullian (To His Wife 2.8, c. AD 200–206, before his break with the Church): "Whence are we to find (words) enough fully to tell the happiness of that marriage which the Church cements, and the oblation confirms, and the benediction signs and seals" (newadvent.org). The Church's blessing belonged to husband and wife, "truly 'two in one flesh.'"
- St. Augustine (On the Good of Marriage 1, 32, c. AD 401; Confessions 3.8.15, c. AD 397–400): "Therefore the first natural bond of human society is man and wife." "All these are goods, on account of which marriage is a good; offspring, faith, sacrament" (newadvent.org). And "those offenses which be contrary to nature are everywhere and at all times to be held in detestation" (newadvent.org).
From the first century on, the witness is the same: marriage is a man and a woman, open to children and blessed by the Church; sexual acts outside it are sin; the unmarried are called to chastity. No Father or council of the early Church ever taught that two men or two women could marry.
Conclusion
Does the Catholic Church allow gay marriage? No, and she never will, because marriage is not hers to redefine. God made it "from the beginning": male and female, one flesh, open to life. Jesus confirmed it, St. Paul revealed it as the sign of Christ and His Church, the Fathers lived it, and the Magisterium has guarded it without wavering, Fiducia Supplicans included.
That firm "no" stands beside an equally firm "yes" to every person's dignity and to the grace that makes chastity possible. If you experience same-sex attraction, the Catholic Church is your home, not your enemy. Christ is waiting for you in confession (Why Catholics Confess to a Priest), and He never stops blessing you as His child.
Come home. The Church that has taught for two thousand years that marriage unites a man and a woman, and that welcomes every sinner to Christ's mercy, is the Catholic Church. Christ did not found many churches. He founded one, on St. Peter and the apostles (Matthew 16:18), and that Church is the Catholic Church. "It is through Christ's Catholic Church alone, which is the universal help toward salvation, that the fullness of the means of salvation can be obtained" (CCC 816). If you are a baptized Christian, you already share "a certain, although imperfect, communion" with her (CCC 838). Every truth you already hold is a call to the rest of the way. If you are not yet a Christian, we invite you to come and see. Christ is calling you into the Catholic Church.
Your next step: Come to Mass this Sunday at your local Catholic church. You can find one near you at MassTimes.org. Everyone is welcome; if you're not yet Catholic, pray with us but don't receive Communion yet. When you're ready to become Catholic, call the parish office and ask about OCIA, the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults. They will walk you through every step. Read our guide: How Do I Become Catholic? Not ready yet? Get our free pocket guide below and keep learning.
FAQ
Can a gay person receive Communion? The same norms apply to every Catholic. Same-sex attraction is not itself a sin, so a Catholic who lives chastely and is in a state of grace may receive like anyone else. Anyone "conscious of grave sin," of any kind, is not to receive "without previous sacramental confession" (canon 916; CCC 1385), and confession is always open.
Can a same-sex couple get a blessing from a priest? Not a blessing of their union, and never a liturgical rite or anything resembling a wedding (Fiducia Supplicans 4, 39). A priest may give a brief, spontaneous, non-liturgical blessing to people who ask for God's help, even when they come as a couple (Fiducia Supplicans 31), which, in the Dicastery's words, does "neither approve nor justify the situation in which these people find themselves."
Can a Catholic attend a same-sex wedding? The Catholic Church has no single universal document on this question, so it calls for a prudent judgment. The principles are clear: we may not share in another's sin "by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them" (CCC 1868), and we must avoid scandal, "an attitude or behavior which leads another to do evil" (CCC 2284). Talk it through with a priest you trust, and whatever you decide, keep loving the person.
I experience same-sex attraction. Is there a place for me in the Catholic Church? Yes. Like every Christian, you are called to holiness, and with grace you "can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection" (CCC 2359). Courage International (couragerc.org) is "A Roman Catholic apostolate for men and women who experience same-sex attractions and those who love them," and its EnCourage ministry serves families.
Sources
Scripture (NABRE, bible.usccb.org): Genesis 1:27–28; Genesis 2:18, 23–24; Leviticus 18:22; Matthew 16:18–19; Matthew 19:4–8; Matthew 24:35; Mark 7:21; Mark 10:6–9; Luke 10:16; John 8:11; John 14:15; John 16:13; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 4:1–2; 1 Corinthians 6:9–11; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Corinthians 13:6; Galatians 3:28; Ephesians 4:15; Ephesians 5:25, 31–32; 1 Timothy 3:15; Hebrews 13:4; Revelation 19:7.
Catechism of the Catholic Church (vatican.va): 816, 838; 1205; 1385; 1601; 1603, 1614; 1640; 1766; 1868; 2284; 2335; 2348–2349, 2357–2359.
Church documents: Code of Canon Law, canons 1055 §1, 1056; canon 916; Second Vatican Council, Dei Verbum 10 (1965); Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Letter on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons 3 (1986); CDF, Considerations regarding proposals to give legal recognition to unions between homosexual persons 2–4, 6–7, 9–11 (2003); CDF, Responsum to a dubium regarding the blessing of the unions of persons of the same sex, with explanatory note (2021) (also at press.vatican.va); Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, Fiducia Supplicans, Presentation and 4–5, 25, 31, 34, 39 (2023); DDF, Press release concerning the reception of Fiducia supplicans (4 January 2024); DDF, Dignitas Infinita 55 (2024).
Church Fathers: Didache 2; St. Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to Polycarp 5; St. Justin Martyr, First Apology 29; Tertullian, To His Wife 2.8; St. Augustine, On the Good of Marriage 1, 32; St. Augustine, Confessions 3.8.15; St. Vincent of Lérins, Commonitory 23.54.
Other sources: Westminster Confession of Faith, ch. 24.1; Lambeth Conference 1998, Resolution I.10 (IARCCUM archive); Courage International.