Daniel is Catholic. His fiancée, Hannah, grew up Baptist, loves Jesus, and has always pictured her wedding in her home church, with her pastor officiating. His mother asks, "But will it count?"
Maria married Kevin, who was never baptized, at the courthouse eleven years ago. She is back at Mass and wonders why she senses she shouldn't receive Communion. Both are asking: can a Catholic marry a non-Catholic, or outside the Catholic Church? And if it already happened, what now?
Short answer: Yes. A Catholic may marry a baptized non-Catholic with the bishop's express permission (canon 1124), and an unbaptized person only with a dispensation, without which the marriage is invalid (canon 1086). The Catholic must normally marry before a priest or deacon and two witnesses (canon 1108; if the other spouse is Eastern Catholic or Orthodox, only a priest can validly assist, canon 1108 §3 as revised in 2016), unless the bishop dispenses from that form, which can make a wedding in a Protestant church valid (canon 1127 §2). A Catholic who marries at a courthouse without a dispensation from the form is not validly married in the eyes of the Catholic Church, since Christian marriage is a liturgical act and a public state of life in the Church (CCC 1631); but that can be fixed. And two non-Catholics who marry are presumed validly married.
Key verses on marriage, faith and the Church's authority
- "Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 16:19)
- "Whoever listens to you listens to me." (Luke 10:16)
- "This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:32)
- "But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whomever she wishes, provided that it be in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7:39)
- "Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers." (2 Corinthians 6:14)
- "Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding." (John 2:2)
Scripture quotations are from the New American Bible, Revised Edition (NABRE), © 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
What Protestants and Others Believe
Most Protestants honor marriage as holy, created by God and blessed by Christ, but do not count it as a sacrament. The Church of England's Articles of Religion (1562) list Matrimony among "Those five commonly called Sacraments" that "are not to be counted for Sacraments of the Gospel" (Article XXV). Martin Luther's Marriage Booklet (1529) called marriage a worldly matter, concluding that "it behooves us pastors or ministers of the church not to attempt to order or govern anything connected with it" (as quoted from Luther's Works vol. 53 in Liturgical Review, 1980).
The case at its strongest: God created marriage before any church existed. A man and a woman giving themselves to each other before God, publicly and lawfully, is what makes a marriage. Scripture never says a wedding must happen before a priest and two witnesses. So a courthouse, Baptist or Catholic wedding is equally real, and no bishop's permission should matter.
Historic Protestantism shares the worry. The Westminster Confession (1646) says "it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord," and so the Reformed "should not marry with infidels, Papists, or other idolaters" (WCF 24.3). Secular readers usually see marriage as a civil contract, and some Catholics quietly agree, planning the courthouse now and the Church wedding later.
What Catholics Actually Teach
Marriage comes from God. "God himself is the author of marriage" (CCC 1603), and "a valid matrimonial contract cannot exist between the baptized without it being by that fact a sacrament" (canon 1055 §2).
The canonical form. Canon law requires a form: "Only those marriages are valid which are contracted before the local ordinary, pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by either of them, who assist, and before two witnesses" (canon 1108 §1). Canon 1117 says who is bound: "The form prescribed above must be observed if at least one of the parties contracting the marriage was baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, without prejudice to the provisions of can. 1127 § 2." Until 2009 this canon exempted Catholics who had left the Catholic Church "by a formal act"; Pope Benedict XVI removed that exception in Omnium in mentem (October 26, 2009). So a Catholic who marries without the form or a dispensation, at a courthouse or in a Protestant church, is not validly married in the eyes of the Catholic Church.
Why the form? The Catechism answers: "Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act"; "Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses)"; and "the public character of the consent protects the 'I do' once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it" (CCC 1631).
Mixed marriage (Catholic and baptized non-Catholic). Such a marriage "cannot be celebrated without the express permission of the competent authority" (canon 1124). It concerns lawfulness ("liceity"), not validity (CCC 1635). The local ordinary grants it for "a just and reasonable cause" if the Catholic declares that he or she "is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith" and promises "to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church"; the other party is informed of these promises; and both are taught the purposes and essential properties of marriage (canon 1125; CCC 1633–1637).
Disparity of cult (Catholic and unbaptized person). This one touches validity: "A marriage between two persons, one of whom was baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it, and the other of whom is not baptized, is invalid" (canon 1086 §1), unless the impediment is dispensed under the same conditions (canon 1086 §2). The local ordinary can grant this dispensation (canon 1078). Such a marriage "requires even greater circumspection" (CCC 1633).
Dispensation from the form. "If grave difficulties hinder the observance of canonical form, the local ordinary of the Catholic party has the right of dispensing from the form in individual cases," though "some public form of celebration" is still required "for validity" (canon 1127 §2; extended to disparity of cult by canon 1129). This allows a valid wedding in a Protestant church. With an Eastern non-Catholic, such as an Orthodox Christian, "the canonical form of the celebration must be observed for liceity only; for validity, however, the presence of a priest is required" (canon 1127 §1, as revised by De concordia inter Codices, 2016), plus the law's other requirements: a wedding before an Orthodox priest can be valid, but without permission it is unlawful. (These are Latin Church canons, per canon 1.) And there is one wedding, not two: "It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration" (canon 1127 §3).
Fixing an invalid marriage. "A marriage which is null because of defect of form must be contracted anew in canonical form in order to become valid" (canon 1160). An impediment such as disparity of cult must also be dispensed (canon 1156). This is convalidation. Sometimes the Catholic Church grants a radical sanation, "convalidation without the renewal of consent" (canon 1161 §1). Either way, start by talking to your parish priest.
Marriages of non-Catholics. Merely ecclesiastical laws, like the canonical form, bind "those who have been baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it" (canon 11), so two Protestants who marry in their church or at a courthouse are not bound by it. Their marriage is presumed valid: "Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven" (canon 1060). If both are baptized, "marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant" (CCC 1617); if not, it is still a true marriage.
Communion while in an invalid union. Of Catholics in merely civil marriages, Pope St. John Paul II taught that, while "treating them with great charity and bringing them into the life of the respective communities, the pastors of the Church will regrettably not be able to admit them to the sacraments" (Familiaris Consortio 82, 1981). And "Anyone conscious of a grave sin must receive the sacrament of Reconciliation before coming to communion" (CCC 1385; canon 916). The way back: keep coming to Mass, see a priest, go to confession, have the marriage convalidated, and return to the altar.
What Catholics do not teach:
- That mixed marriage is forbidden in principle. "Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage" (CCC 1634).
- That the priest "makes" the marriage. In the Latin Church, "it is ordinarily understood that the spouses, as ministers of Christ's grace, mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church" (CCC 1623).
It all points to Christ. Jesus chose to work His first sign at a wedding, and St. Paul says Christian marriage speaks "in reference to Christ and the church." The Catholic Church guards how her children marry because a Christian marriage is meant to show the world Christ's faithful love for His Bride. Every rule here protects that sign, so that husband and wife can lead each other, and their children, to Jesus.
The Biblical Case
1. Christ gave His Church authority to bind and loose
Jesus told St. Peter, "Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven" (Matthew 16:19). He gave the same power to the apostles together, right after telling us to "tell the church" (Matthew 18:17–18). To bind and loose is to make rules and release from them, exactly what the Catholic Church does when she requires the form and when a bishop dispenses from it. "Whoever listens to you listens to me" (Luke 10:16); "Obey your leaders and defer to them" (Hebrews 13:17). See Is the Papacy Biblical?
2. The apostles legislated, including about marriage
The Council of Jerusalem bound the churches: "It is the decision of the holy Spirit and of us not to place on you any burden beyond these necessities," among them to abstain "from unlawful marriage" (Acts 15:28–29), which the NABRE notes explain as unions within forbidden degrees of kinship. The apostles decided, in the Holy Spirit, which marriages Christians could enter. By that authority the Catholic Church, "the pillar and foundation of truth" (1 Timothy 3:15), sets conditions for Christian weddings.
3. Marriage is a public covenant before witnesses
Scripture never treats marriage as a private deal: "the LORD is witness between you and the wife of your youth" (Malachi 2:14). Boaz took Ruth as his wife before the elders, asking, "Do you witness this today?" They answered, "We do" (Ruth 4:10–11). And because "what God has joined together, no human being must separate" (Mark 10:9), the community must know for certain who is married to whom. To be plain: Scripture does not prescribe a priest and two witnesses. But it presents marriage as a public covenant, which is what the canonical form protects.
4. Christian marriage belongs to Christ and His Church
St. Paul quotes Genesis, "the two shall become one flesh," then adds, "This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:31–32). If Christian marriage images Christ and His Bride, the Catholic Church cannot be a bystander to it. At Cana, "Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs" (John 2:11), and the Catholic Church sees there "the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ's presence" (CCC 1613). See Are There Really Seven Sacraments?
5. "In the Lord": the danger to faith is real
St. Paul allows a widow to remarry, "provided that it be in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). The Old Testament shows why. God forbade Israel to intermarry with the pagan nations of the land, because "they would turn your sons from following me to serving other gods" (Deuteronomy 7:3–4). The issue was faith, not ethnicity: Ruth the Moabite, who said, "your God, my God" (Ruth 1:16), married into Israel with blessing. Nehemiah warned that even Solomon "was led into sin by foreign women" (Nehemiah 13:26), and Ezra called the men to separate from their foreign wives (Ezra 9–10), a measure for Israel's crisis that the New Testament does not apply to Christians already married (point 6). The warning stands: "Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers" (2 Corinthians 6:14). That passage concerns idolatry and does not name marriage, so the Catholic Church does not read it as banning every mixed marriage, but as a warning that bears hardest on the closest yoke of all: "the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated" (CCC 1634). Permission and the Catholic party's promises are her answer.
6. The believing spouse is a channel of grace
St. Paul tells a believer already married to an unbeliever who "is willing to go on living with him" that "he should not divorce her" (1 Corinthians 7:12). Why? "For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother" (1 Corinthians 7:14). Husbands who "disobey the word" may be "won over without a word by their wives' conduct" (1 Peter 3:1). Hence the Catechism: "Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion" (CCC 1637).
Objections Answered
(a) "Marriage is between me, my spouse and God. The Church has no say."
At its strongest: The spouses, not the priest, make the marriage, and God created it in Eden with no clergy present. Why should a bishop stand between a couple and God?
Answer: The Catholic Church agrees that the spouses make the marriage; she "holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that 'makes the marriage'" (CCC 1626). But Scripture never treats marriage as a secret between three: God is "witness" to it (Malachi 2:14), Boaz married before the elders (Ruth 4:10–11), and Christian marriage is a mystery of "Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:32). The Council of Trent pointed to "the grievous sins which arise from the said clandestine marriages," above all men who abandoned a wife married in secret and publicly married another (Session XXIV, Decree on the Reformation of Marriage, ch. 1). The form protects the spouse who would otherwise have no proof.
(b) "These are man-made Church rules. The Bible has no canonical form."
At its strongest: The form is not in Scripture, and until the sixteenth century the Church itself accepted secret marriages as valid.
Answer: The history is correct, and the Catholic Church says so. Trent taught that "clandestine marriages, made with the free consent of the contracting parties, are valid and true marriages, so long as the Church has not rendered them invalid" (Session XXIV, ch. 1). Then, at that session on November 11, 1563 (Catholic Encyclopedia, "Council of Trent"), it did render them invalid: the decree Tametsi required marriage before the parish priest and witnesses "as a measure destined to check abuses and to safeguard the sacredness of the marriage contract" (Catholic Encyclopedia, "Clandestinity"). It bound only where it was published. The decree Ne Temere, "issued 2 August, 1907, by the Congregation of the Council," extended the form to Catholics generally, mixed marriages included, from Easter 1908 (same article). So the form is Church law, not a direct biblical command. That is no objection, because Christ gave His Church, the Catholic Church, power to bind (Matthew 16:19; 18:18), and the apostles used it on marriage (Acts 15:28–29). See What Is Sacred Tradition, and Is It Biblical?
(c) "My fiancée is a devout Protestant. Why wouldn't God honor our wedding in her church?"
At its strongest: She loves Jesus, her pastor preaches the Gospel, and her family has always married there.
Answer: The Catholic Church has a way for that wedding to be valid: the bishop can dispense from the form for grave difficulties (canon 1127 §2), and then the wedding in her church is valid and, if she is baptized, a sacrament. What a Catholic cannot do is ignore the law that binds him. The question is not whether her church is good enough for God, but whether a Catholic will marry as a Catholic, under the shepherds Christ placed over him (Hebrews 13:17). Give her a marriage no one can ever question.
(d) "We're already married civilly. Isn't the Catholic ceremony just paperwork?"
At its strongest: We made vows, meant them and kept them.
Answer: Your vows were sincere, and the Catholic Church does not treat your home as nothing; your situation "cannot of course be likened to that of people simply living together without any bond at all" (Familiaris Consortio 82). But for a Catholic, a marriage without the form "must be contracted anew in canonical form in order to become valid" (canon 1160). Convalidation makes your marriage what you always meant it to be: valid and, if you are both baptized, a sacrament with its grace. It also opens the way back to the Eucharist. That is not paperwork.
(e) "So the Catholic Church thinks my Protestant parents aren't really married?"
At its strongest: If Catholic weddings need a priest, every Baptist wedding must be fake in Rome's eyes.
Answer: No. The canonical form binds only those baptized in or received into the Catholic Church (canons 11, 1117). Your parents were never bound by it. Their marriage is presumed valid (canon 1060), and if both were baptized, the Catholic Church teaches that it is a true sacrament (canon 1055 §2), a higher view than many Protestant confessions hold. That is why a divorced Protestant must have the earlier bond examined before marrying a Catholic (canon 1085 §2). See Isn't an Annulment Just Catholic Divorce?
The Early Church Agrees
- St. Ignatius of Antioch (Letter to Polycarp 5, written on his way to martyrdom, between AD 98 and 117): "But it becomes both men and women who marry, to form their union with the approval of the bishop, that their marriage may be according to God, and not after their own lust" (newadvent.org). Within a generation of the apostles, the bishop had a role in Christian marriage.
- Tertullian (To His Wife 2.8, c. AD 200–206, from his Catholic period): "Whence are we to find (words) enough fully to tell the happiness of that marriage which the Church cements, and the oblation confirms, and the benediction signs and seals" (newadvent.org). Christian marriage is no private affair.
- Tertullian (To His Wife 2.3): Of a Christian woman wed to a pagan he asks, "And how can she serve two lords — the Lord, and her husband — a Gentile to boot?" (newadvent.org). The danger to faith is not new.
- St. Cyprian of Carthage (On the Lapsed 6, c. AD 251): Among the sins that weakened the Church before persecution: "They united in the bond of marriage with unbelievers" (newadvent.org). He saw it as a real danger.
- Synod of Laodicea (canon 31, between AD 343 and 381): "It is not lawful to make marriages with all [sorts of] heretics, nor to give our sons and daughters to them; but rather to take of them, if they promise to become Christians" (newadvent.org). Bishops were already regulating mixed marriages and attaching a promise to them.
- St. Ambrose of Milan (Letter 19, to Bishop Vigilius, c. AD 385): "Wherefore you must instruct the people that they should contract marriage not with strange-born but with Christian families" (Letters of St. Ambrose, sec. 2). Guiding his people's marriages is part of a bishop's office.
From the second century to the fourth, Christian marriage is formed "with the approval of the bishop," is something "the Church cements," and is guarded against marrying outside the faith. The law developed; the conviction is apostolic.
Conclusion
A Catholic can marry a non-Catholic. The Catholic Church asks for permission or a dispensation, for the Catholic to keep and hand on the faith, and normally for a wedding before her minister and two witnesses, on the authority Christ gave her and because marriage is a mystery of "Christ and the church." If you married outside the Catholic Church, you are not cast off. "If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing" (1 John 1:9), and Christ "instituted the sacrament of Penance for all sinful members of his Church" (CCC 1446). Call your parish. See Why Do Catholics Confess to a Priest?
Come home. The Church that has guarded Christian marriage since St. Ignatius told couples to marry "with the approval of the bishop" is the Catholic Church. Christ did not found many churches. He founded one, on St. Peter and the apostles (Matthew 16:18), and that Church is the Catholic Church. "It is through Christ's Catholic Church alone, which is the universal help toward salvation, that the fullness of the means of salvation can be obtained" (CCC 816). If you are a baptized Christian, you already share "a certain, although imperfect, communion" with her (CCC 838). Every truth you already hold is a call to the rest of the way. If you are not yet a Christian, we invite you to come and see. Christ is calling you into the Catholic Church.
Your next step: Come to Mass this Sunday at your local Catholic church. You can find one near you at MassTimes.org. Everyone is welcome; if you're not yet Catholic, pray with us but don't receive Communion yet. When you're ready to become Catholic, call the parish office and ask about OCIA, the Order of Christian Initiation of Adults. They will walk you through every step. Read our guide: How Do I Become Catholic? Not ready yet? Get our free pocket guide below and keep learning.
FAQ
We married at the courthouse years ago. What now? Call your parish and ask about convalidation. The priest will check for anything else that needs attention, such as a prior marriage or a dispensation if your spouse is unbaptized; then you exchange consent in the Catholic form (canon 1160). Go to confession, and keep coming to Mass in the meantime.
Can we marry in my fiancée's Protestant church? Yes, if the bishop grants a dispensation from canonical form (canon 1127 §2) along with permission for the mixed marriage (canon 1124). Start with your Catholic parish early. Without the dispensation, the wedding would be invalid.
Does the non-Catholic spouse have to convert? No. Only the Catholic makes the promises (canon 1125), and conversion must be free. But do invite them. Of an unbaptized spouse, the Catechism calls it "a great joy" when this leads to "the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith" (CCC 1637), and the same hope holds for a Protestant spouse.
Do we need two ceremonies, one Catholic and one Protestant? No. Canon law forbids "another religious celebration of the same marriage to give or renew matrimonial consent" (canon 1127 §3). There is one wedding and one exchange of vows. Civil requirements, like a marriage license, are a separate matter.
Sources
Scripture (NABRE, bible.usccb.org): Deuteronomy 7:3–4; Ruth 1:16; Ruth 4:10–11; Ezra 9–10; Nehemiah 13:23–27; Malachi 2:14; Matthew 16:18–19; Matthew 18:17–18; Mark 10:9; Luke 10:16; John 2:2, 11; Acts 15:28–29; 1 Corinthians 7:12–14, 39; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 5:31–32; 1 Timothy 3:15; Hebrews 13:17; 1 Peter 3:1; 1 John 1:9.
Catechism of the Catholic Church (vatican.va): 816, 838; 1385; 1446; 1603, 1613, 1617; 1623; 1626, 1631, 1633–1635, 1637.
Church documents: Code of Canon Law (1983), canon 1, canon 11, canon 916, and canons 1055, 1060, 1078, 1085, 1086, 1108, 1117, 1124–1127, 1129, 1156, 1160, 1161; Pope Benedict XVI, Omnium in mentem (October 26, 2009); Pope Francis, De concordia inter Codices (May 31, 2016; English translation; Latin text), art. 11 (canon 1127 §1); Pope St. John Paul II, Familiaris Consortio 82 (1981); Council of Trent, Session XXIV (1563; trans. J. Waterworth, 1848), Decree on the Reformation of Marriage, ch. 1 (Tametsi); Synod of Laodicea, canon 31.
Church Fathers: St. Ignatius of Antioch, Letter to Polycarp 5; Tertullian, To His Wife 2.3, 2.8; St. Cyprian of Carthage, On the Lapsed 6; St. Ambrose of Milan, Letter 19, to Vigilius (Catholic Documentation Project transcription of the Oxford Library of the Fathers edition, 1881, via Project Gutenberg).
Other sources: Catholic Encyclopedia, "Clandestinity", "Council of Trent", "Tertullian", "St. Ignatius of Antioch", "St. Cyprian of Carthage"; Church of England, Articles of Religion (1562), Article XXV; Westminster Confession of Faith 24.3 (completed 1646, per Encyclopaedia Britannica); Martin Luther, Marriage Booklet (1529), quoted from Luther's Works vol. 53 in "Luther's Other Major Liturgical Reforms: 3. The Traubüchlein," Liturgical Review (1980).